Welcome to the Chris J. Nelson Archives. All my best articles (in my opinion) are listed above, so click on a title that intrigues you, or rather just read them all. Up to ya.
Note: If you're going to be offended by any of these articles, please don't bitch. The only thing worse than people being offended by stupid shit is people who laugh at "offensive" stuff all the time, then read one thing that offends them and whine like a bitch. It's pathetic. You see it in Maddox's hate mail all the time. People say shit like "I used to think you were funny because you made fun of this thing or that group of people, but then you made fun of something I liked and I'm offended because I'm a little bitch." If you're one of the people I'm talking about, kill yourself.
News:
12-8-05 - Essay Why I Want To Do Gay Porn, a short commentary on kicking pregnant women, and a domestic abuse-related comic have been posted.
10-18-05 - Essay I wrote for English Composition, Why Porn is Awesome, posted. Also added: A Nipple Dilemma and 105.3 The Buzz vs. 99x.
5-27-05 - I've been slacking off about putting new stuff on here, so I've caught back up today. Here's the list of new articles:
- One Change Star Wars needs.
- Cancer Patient Tattoos.
- Definitions of 'irony'.
- A story told by two heads.
- Don't spray Axe on your balls.
- Regular porn vs. Shemale porn.
- Shobooba.
- An Easter Chris Nelson Tribute to Jesus.
- Journalism Fan Mail.
- Crystal Springs: Racist Water.
- Something you shouldn't be arrested for.
3-9-05 - New article, "Great Fucking Advice: Vol. 1" posted.
2-2-05 - New article, "Coach Carter in a nutshell" posted.
12-23-04 - New article, "Cancer Patient Tattoos" posted.
7-29-04 - New article, "No movie ideas? Just combine 2 old ones!" posted.
7-23-04 - New article, "The tobacco industry is awesome" posted.
7-20-04 - New article, "People that deserve to die: Part II" posted.
7-18-04 - New article, "People that deserve to die: Part I" posted.
7-16-04 - New article, "The Church of Ken Jennings" posted.
7-15-04 - New article, "The positive side of molestation" posted.
7-13-04 - Thanks to Josh Rivers for linking this page on his Xanga!
7-12-04 - New article, "10 reasons why baseball sucks nowadays" posted.
7-11-04 - New article, "Some vocalists just don't scream well" posted.
7-9-04 - New article, "Avril: Stop ruining good music" posted.
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